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Quote of the Day (2012-02-15)

2012-02-15T06:16:00.001-06:00

Bart: [after they watch a foreign film] I was so bored I cut the pony tail off the guy in front of us.

[holds pony tail to his head]

Bart: Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and I made $600 last year.

Marge: Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-02-14)

2012-02-14T06:16:00.001-06:00

And Sir Robin-the-not-quite-so-pure-as-Sir-Launcelot, who had nearly fought the Dragon of Agnor, who had nearly stood up to to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-02-13)

2012-02-13T06:16:00.001-06:00

"This is our best model, the Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like, you're almost glad to be handicapped."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-02-12)

2012-02-12T06:16:00.001-06:00

Narrator: Do you want me to deprioritize my current reports until you advise me of a status upgrade?

Richard Chesler: Yes. Make these your primary action items.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2012-02-11)

2012-02-11T06:16:00.001-06:00

Derek Zoolander: Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

Source: Zoolander

Quote of the Day (2012-02-10)

2012-02-10T06:16:00.001-06:00

Sir Humphrey: "If there had been investigations, which there haven't, or not necessarily, or I'm not at liberty to say whether there have, there would have been a project team which, had it existed, on which I cannot comment, which would now have disbanded, if it had existed, and the members returned to their original departments, if indeed there had been any such members."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-02-09)

2012-02-09T06:16:00.001-06:00

Jim Hacker: "Honesty always gives you the advantage of surprise in the House of Commons."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-02-08)

2012-02-08T06:16:00.001-06:00

Carol: Do you want to dance?

Melvin Udall: I've been thinking about that for a while.

Carol: [standing up] Well?

Melvin Udall: No.

Source: As Good As It Gets

Quote of the Day (2012-02-07)

2012-02-07T06:16:00.001-06:00

Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-02-06)

2012-02-06T06:16:00.001-06:00

Rainer Wolfcastle: [singing] Mein bratwurst has a first name, it's F-R-I-T-Z / Mein bratwurst has a second name, it's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-02-04)

2012-02-04T06:16:00.001-06:00

Hansel: I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.

Source: Zoolander

Quote of the Day (2012-02-03)

2012-02-03T06:16:00.001-06:00

Harry: Suppose nothing happens to you. Suppose you lived out your whole life and nothing happens you never meet anybody you never become anything and finally you die in one of those New York deaths which nobody notices for two weeks until the smell drifts into the hallway.

Sally: Amanda mentioned you had a dark side.

Harry: That's what drew her to me.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2012-02-02)

2012-02-02T06:16:00.001-06:00

Toula Portokalos: When I was growing up, I knew I was different. The other girls were blonde and delicate, and I was a swarthy six-year-old with sideburns.

Source: My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Quote of the Day (2012-02-01)

2012-02-01T06:16:00.001-06:00

Sir Humphrey: "Bernard, Ministers should never know more than they need to know. Then they can't tell anyone. Like secret agents, they could be captured and tortured."

Bernard: "You mean by terrorists?"

Sir Humphrey: "By the BBC, Bernard."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-01-31)

2012-01-31T06:16:00.001-06:00

I have a vewwy gweat fwend in Wome called Biggus Dickus.

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2012-01-30)

2012-01-30T06:16:00.001-06:00

Homer: "To start, press any key." Where's the "Any" key?

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-01-27)

2012-01-27T06:16:00.001-06:00

Captain John Sheridan: Are you trying to cheer me up?

Susan Ivanova: No sir, wouldn't dream of it.

Captain John Sheridan: Good, I hate being cheered up.

Susan Ivanova: In that case we're all going to die slow, agonizing deaths.

Captain John Sheridan: Thank you, I feel so much better now.

Source: Babylon 5

Quote of the Day (2012-01-26)

2012-01-26T06:16:00.001-06:00

Russ Cargill: Mr. President, you chose me, Russ Cargill, most successful man in America, to head the EPA, the least successful organization. That's why I've narrowed your choices down to five unthinkable options.

[spreads the files on the President's desk]

Russ Cargill: Each one will cause untold misery and...

President Schwarzenegger: [points to File #3] I pick Number Three!

Russ Cargill: Really? You don't want to read them first?

President Schwarzenegger: I was elected to *lead*, not to *read*. Number Three!

Source: The Simpsons Movie

Quote of the Day (2012-01-25)

2012-01-25T06:16:00.001-06:00

Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2012-01-24)

2012-01-24T06:16:00.001-06:00

[Bart is faking illness to get out of a test he hasn't prepared for]

Bart: Ohhhh, my ovaries.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-01-23)

2012-01-23T06:16:00.001-06:00

Larry Lipton: There is nothing wrong with you a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.

Source: Manhattan Murder Mystery

Quote of the Day (2012-01-22)

2012-01-22T06:16:00.001-06:00

Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.

Westley: You're that smart?

Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

Westley: Yes.

Vizzini: Morons.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2012-01-21)

2012-01-21T06:16:00.001-06:00

"I usually last about ten minutes on the stairmaster. Unless, of course, there's someone stretching in front of me in a leotard, then I can go an hour. That's why they call it the stairmaster. You get up there and you stare."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-01-20)

2012-01-20T06:16:00.001-06:00

That's very reassuring from a marketing major at a party school.

Source: Modern Family

Quote of the Day (2012-01-19)

2012-01-19T06:16:00.001-06:00

I've had worse.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-01-18)

2012-01-18T06:16:00.001-06:00

Homer: [Bart has offended Lisa, and he's surprised she's visibly angry at him after saying that nothing is wrong between them] Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong. When a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong. And when a woman says that something *isn't* funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-01-17)

2012-01-17T06:16:00.001-06:00

Once had love, and it was a gas.

Soon found out it was a pain in the ass.

Source: Blondie

Quote of the Day (2012-01-16)

2012-01-16T06:16:00.001-06:00

Suicide Squad Leader: We are the Judean People's Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!

[they all stab themselves]

Suicide Squad Leader: That showed 'em, huh?

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2012-01-15)

2012-01-15T06:16:00.001-06:00

Jerry: "You know how the big toe is the captain of the toes, but sometimes the toe next to the big toe gets so big that there's a power struggle and the second toe assumes control of the foot."

George: "The coup de toe!"

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-01-14)

2012-01-14T06:16:00.001-06:00

Jim Hacker: "Fortunately Bernard, most of our journalists are so incompetent that they have the gravest difficulty in finding out that today is Wednesday."

Bernard Woolley: "It's actually Thursday, Minister."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-01-13)

2012-01-13T06:16:00.001-06:00

"You know, it is so sad. All your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-01-12)

2012-01-12T06:16:00.001-06:00

It's only a flesh wound.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-01-11)

2012-01-11T06:16:00.001-06:00

Sir Arnold: "But once they have accepted the principle that senior civil servants could be removed for incompetence, that would be the thin end of the wedge. We could loose dozens of our chaps, hundreds perhaps."

Sir Humphrey: "Thousands..."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-01-10)

2012-01-10T06:16:00.001-06:00

Sir Humphrey: "It must be hard for a political adviser to understand this, but I'm merely a civil servant. I simply do as I am instructed by my master."

Jim Hacker: "What happens when a Minister is a woman, what'll you call her?"

Sir Humphrey: "Yes, that is rather interesting. We sought an answer to that point when I was Principal Private Secretary and Dr. Edith Summerskill - as she then was - was appointed Minister in 1947. I didn't quite like to refer to her as my mistress."

Jim Hacker: "What was the answer?"

Sir Humphrey: "Oh, we're still waiting for it."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-01-09)

2012-01-09T06:16:00.001-06:00

Kid #3: My Mommy says smoking kills.

Nick Naylor: Oh, is your Mommy a doctor?

Kid #3: No.

Nick Naylor: A scientific researcher of some kind?

Kid #3: No.

Nick Naylor: Well then she's hardly a credible expert, is she?

Source: Thank You For Smoking

Quote of the Day (2012-01-08)

2012-01-08T06:16:00.001-06:00

"I love that bathroom. It's got that high-high toilet. I feel like a gargoyle perched on the ledge of a building."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-01-07)

2012-01-07T06:16:00.001-06:00

"It's smart. It's a smart line, and a smart crowd will appreciate it. And I'm not going to dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience!"

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-01-06)

2012-01-06T06:16:00.001-06:00

You are now firing a gun at your imaginary friend, near 400 pounds of nitroglycerin!

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2012-01-05)

2012-01-05T06:16:00.001-06:00

I'll have what she's having.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2012-01-04)

2012-01-04T06:16:00.001-06:00

Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?

Inigo Montoya: Let me 'splain.

[pause]

Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.

Westley: That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.

Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.

Westley: I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?

Inigo Montoya: There is but one working castle gate, and... and it is guarded by 60 men.

Westley: And our assets?

Inigo Montoya: Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2012-01-03)

2012-01-03T06:16:00.001-06:00

Mr. Ross: "It's a terrible tragedy when parents outlive their children."

George: "Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-01-02)

2012-01-02T06:16:00.001-06:00

Are you suggesting coconuts are migratory?

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-01-01)

2012-01-01T06:16:00.001-06:00

Bart: The Constitution? I'm pretty sure the Patriot Act killed it to ensure our freedoms.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2011-12-31)

2011-12-31T06:16:00.001-06:00

Gareth: I've got a new theory about marriage. Two people are in love, they live together, and then suddenly one day, they run out of conversation.

Charles: Uh-huh.

Gareth: Totally. I mean they can't think of a single thing to say to each other. That's it: panic! Then suddenly it-it occurs to the chap that there is a way out of the deadlock.

Charles: Which is?

Gareth: He'll ask her to marry him.

Charles: Brilliant! Brilliant!

Gareth: Suddenly they've got something to talk about for the rest of their lives.

Charles: Basically you're saying marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarrassing pause in conversation.

Gareth: The definitive icebreaker.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral

Quote of the Day (2011-12-30)

2011-12-30T06:16:00.001-06:00

Reggie Lampert: You're blocking my view.

Peter Joshua: Ohh... which view would you prefer?

Reggie Lampert: The one you're blocking.

Source: Charade

Quote of the Day (2011-12-29)

2011-12-29T06:16:00.001-06:00

Buttercup: We'll never survive.

Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2011-12-28)

2011-12-28T06:16:00.001-06:00

It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-12-27)

2011-12-27T06:16:00.001-06:00

George: "I was free and clear. I was living the dream. I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery."

Jerry: "Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-12-26)

2011-12-26T06:16:00.001-06:00

Charles: How do you do, my name is Charles.

Old man: Don't be ridiculous, Charles died 20 years ago!

Charles: Must be a different Charles, I think.

Old man: Are you telling me I don't know my own brother!

Charles: No, no.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral

Quote of the Day (2011-12-25)

2011-12-25T06:16:00.001-06:00

Quote of the Day (2011-12-24)

2011-12-24T06:16:00.001-06:00

And by the way, they're real, and they're spectacular

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-12-23)

2011-12-23T06:16:00.001-06:00

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2011-12-22)

2011-12-22T06:16:00.001-06:00

Larry Lipton: You promised you'd sit through a hockey game, and I promised I'd sit through the Wagner opera next week.

Carol Lipton: I know, I know...

Larry Lipton: I already bought the earplugs.

Source: Manhattan Murder Mystery

Quote of the Day (2011-12-21)

2011-12-21T06:16:00.001-06:00

Victor Melling: If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... which is perhaps why I've never reproduced.

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2011-12-20)

2011-12-20T06:16:00.001-06:00

Reggie Lampert: I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else.

Peter Joshua:Yes, of course. But you will let me know if anyone goes on the critical list.

Reggie Lampert: Quitter.

Source: Charade

Quote of the Day (2011-12-19)

2011-12-19T06:16:00.001-06:00

Jerry: "Listen to this. Marcy comes over and she tells me that her ex-boyfriend was over late last night and 'yada yada yada I'm really tired today.' You don't think she'd yada yada sex?"

Elaine: "I've yada yada'd sex."

George: "Really?"

Elaine: "Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again."

Jerry: "But you yada yada'd over the best part."

Elaine: "No, I mentioned the bisque."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-12-18)

2011-12-18T06:16:00.001-06:00

Basil Fawlty: [about Sybil's laugh] Sounds like somebody machine-gunning a seal.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2011-12-17)

2011-12-17T06:16:00.001-06:00

Niles: That bit of inspired lunacy you heard before the commercial was just a little docudrama Frasier and I put together on the dangers of over-medication. Bravo, Frasier, for so brilliantly demonstrating why they call it "dope."

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2011-12-16)

2011-12-16T06:16:00.001-06:00

Alicia: There's nothing like a love song to give you a good laugh.

Source: Notorious

Quote of the Day (2011-12-15)

2011-12-15T06:16:00.001-06:00

And the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-12-14)

2011-12-14T06:16:00.001-06:00

Kent Brockman: Springfield has come down with a fever: football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take 2 tickets, and see the game Sunday morning.

Public Service Announcer: Warning. Tickets should NOT be taken internally.

Homer: See? Because of me, now they have a warning.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2011-12-13)

2011-12-13T06:16:00.001-06:00

Vanessa Loring: You think you're really going to do this?

Juno MacGuff: Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.

Vanessa Loring: That's great.

Mark Loring: Keep it in the oven.

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2011-12-12)

2011-12-12T06:16:00.001-06:00

[after slicing one of the Black Knight's arms off]

King Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch.

King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off.

Black Knight: No it isn't.

King Arthur: What's that, then?

Black Knight: [after a pause] I've had worse.

King Arthur: You liar.

Black Knight: Come on ya pansy.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-12-11)

2011-12-11T06:16:00.001-06:00

Jim Hacker: "So they insult me and then expect me to give them more money?"

Sir Humphrey: "Yes, I must say it's a rather undignified posture. But it is what artists always do: crawling towards the government on their knees, shaking their fists."

Jim Hacker: "Beating me over the head with their begging bowls."

Bernard Woolley: "Oh, I am sorry to be pedantic, Prime Minister, but they can't beat you over the head if they're on their knees. Unless of course they've got very long arms.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2011-12-10)

2011-12-10T06:16:00.001-06:00

Jim Hacker: "Honesty always gives you the advantage of surprise in the House of Commons."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2011-12-09)

2011-12-09T06:16:00.001-06:00

[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2011-12-08)

2011-12-08T06:16:00.001-06:00

Sam Baldwin: Well I'm not looking for a mail-order bride! I just want somebody I can have a decent conversation with over dinner. Without it falling down into weepy tears over some movie!

Greg: She's, as you just saw, very emotional.

Sam Baldwin: Although I cried at the end of "the Dirty Dozen."

Greg: Who didn't?

Sam Baldwin: Jim Brown was throwing these hand grenades down these airshafts. And Richard Jaeckel and Lee Marvin

[Begins to cry]

Sam Baldwin: were sitting on top of this armored personnel carrier, dressed up like Nazis...

Greg: [Crying too] Stop, stop!

Sam Baldwin: And Trini Lopez...

Greg: Yes, Trini Lopez!

Sam Baldwin: He busted his neck while they were parachuting down behind the Nazi lines...

Greg: Stop.

Sam Baldwin: And Richard Jaeckel - at the beginning he had on this shiny helmet...

Greg: [Crying harder] Please no more. Oh God! I loved that movie.

Source: Sleepless in Seattle

Quote of the Day (2011-12-07)

2011-12-07T06:16:00.001-06:00

Reg: If you want to join the People's Front of Judea, you have to really hate the Romans.

Brian: I do!

Reg: Oh yeah, how much?

Brian: A lot!

Reg: Right, you're in.

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2011-12-06)

2011-12-06T06:16:00.001-06:00

Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.

Source: Office Space

Quote of the Day (2011-12-05)

2011-12-05T06:16:00.001-06:00

BR: We don't sell Tic Tacs, we sell cigarettes. And they're cool, available, and *addictive*. The job is almost done for us.

Source: Thank You For Smoking

Quote of the Day (2011-12-04)

2011-12-04T06:16:00.001-06:00

I'm saying, that the right man for you might be out there right now, and if you don't grab him someone else will and you'll have spend the rest of your life knowing that someone else is married to your husband

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2011-12-03)

2011-12-03T06:16:00.001-06:00

Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."

Parole Board member: Repeat offender!

Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?

H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.

Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?

H.I.: No, sir, no way.

Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.

H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.

Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?

H.I.: Yes, sir.

Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2011-12-02)

2011-12-02T06:16:00.001-06:00

David St. Hubbins: I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a *dwarf*. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.

Ian Faith: I really think you're just making much too big a thing out of it.

Derek Smalls: Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2011-12-01)

2011-12-01T06:16:00.001-06:00

Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-11-30)

2011-11-30T06:16:00.001-06:00

Marge: Bart, would you like to say grace?

Bart: Yesum!

[Bart says grace in Latin]

Homer: What the hell was that?

Lisa: Bart's speaking Latin, the language of Plutarc.

Homer: [Homer looks blankly] Micky Mouse's dog?

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2011-11-29)

2011-11-29T06:16:00.001-06:00

All right all right all right we'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-11-28)

2011-11-28T06:16:00.001-06:00

It's a fine line between clever and stupid.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2011-11-27)

2011-11-27T06:16:00.001-06:00

"Boy, a month in Europe with Elaine. That guy's coming home in a body bag."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-11-26)

2011-11-26T06:16:00.001-06:00

[Bart is faking illness to get out of a test he hasn't prepared for]

Bart: Ohhhh, my ovaries.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2011-11-25)

2011-11-25T06:16:00.001-06:00

I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop]

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-11-24)

2011-11-24T06:16:00.001-06:00

Tom Hanks: Hello, I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility so it's borrowing some of mine.

Source: The Simpsons Movie

Quote of the Day (2011-11-23)

2011-11-23T06:16:00.001-06:00

[the golf lesson]

Norton: First, you address the ball... hello, ball.

Source: The Honeymooners

Quote of the Day (2011-11-22)

2011-11-22T06:16:00.001-06:00

"We're friends. If I'm going to be uncomfortable, you gotta be uncomfortable too!"

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-11-21)

2011-11-21T06:16:00.001-06:00

Quote of the Day (2011-11-20)

2011-11-20T06:16:00.001-06:00

It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-11-19)

2011-11-19T06:16:00.001-06:00

[Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch]

King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?

Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege.

King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.

Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...

Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...

Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

Brother Maynard: Amen.

All: Amen.

King Arthur: Right. One... two... five.

Galahad: Three, sir.

King Arthur: Three.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-11-18)

2011-11-18T06:16:00.001-06:00

Tom Hanks: This is Tom Hanks saying, if you're gonna pick a government to trust, why not this one?

Source: The Simpsons Movie

Quote of the Day (2011-11-17)

2011-11-17T06:16:00.001-06:00

Larry Lipton: I can't listen to that much Wagner, ya know? I start to get the urge to conquer Poland.

Source: Manhattan Murder Mystery

Quote of the Day (2011-11-16)

2011-11-16T06:16:00.001-06:00

[Ralph and Norton are about to go to bed together when Ralph shows Norton a toothbrush]

Ralph Kramden: Norton?

Ed Norton: What?

Ralph Kramden: Did you use my toothbrush?

Ed Norton: I dunno.

Ralph Kramden: What do you mean you don't know?

Ed Norton: Well, you got a red toothbrush and I got a red toothbrush. They was layin' side by side and I didn't know which was which, so I just went, "Eeeny, meeny, miney, mo."

Ralph Kramden: [holds up toothbrush] Is this Mo?

Ed Norton: [looks at toothbrush] Yep, that's Mo all right.

Ralph Kramden: Well, for your information, Mo happens to be *my* toothbrush.

Ed Norton: Oh, I was wonderin' why there was somethin' familiar about Miney.

Source: The Honeymooners

Quote of the Day (2011-11-15)

2011-11-15T06:16:00.001-06:00

Jim Hacker: "I have made a policy decision. I am going to do something about the number of women in the Civil Service."

Sir Humphrey: "Surely there aren't all that many?"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2011-11-14)

2011-11-14T06:16:00.001-06:00

Sir Humphrey: "The Special Branch has reason to believe that the threat to your life has been diminished."

Jim Hacker: "How do they know?"

Sir Humphrey: "Surveillance. They overheard a conversation."

Jim Hacker: "What did it say?"

Sir Humphrey: "Oh, I don't think it is of any..."

Jim Hacker: "Come on Humphrey, I have a right to know!"

Sir Humphrey: "Well it was a conversation to the effect that, in view of the somewhat nebulous and inexplicit nature of your remit, and the arguably marginal and peripheral nature of your influence on the central deliberations and decisions within the political process, there could be a case for restructuring their action priorities in such a way as to eliminate your liquidation from their immediate agenda."

Jim Hacker: "They said that??"

Sir Humphrey: "That was the gist of it."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2011-11-13)

2011-11-13T06:16:00.001-06:00

Follow! But! follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-11-12)

2011-11-12T06:16:00.001-06:00

Tyler Durden: [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?

Narrator: So you can breath.

Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.

Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2011-11-11)

2011-11-11T06:16:00.001-06:00

Quote of the Day (2011-11-10)

2011-11-10T06:16:00.001-06:00

ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. What knight lives in that castle?

OLD WOMAN: No one live there.

ARTHUR: Well, who is your lord?

OLD WOMAN: We don't have a lord.

ARTHUR: What?

DENNIS: I told you, We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

ARTHUR: Yes.

DENNIS: ... But all the decision of that officer ...

ARTHUR: Yes, I see.

DENNIS: ... must be approved at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs.

ARTHUR: Be quiet!

DENNIS: ... but a two-thirds majority ...

ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to shut up.

OLD WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?

ARTHUR: I am your king!

OLD WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-11-09)

2011-11-09T06:16:00.001-06:00

Matthias: Look, I don't think it should be a sin, just for saying "Jehovah".

[Everyone gasps]

Jewish Official: You're only making it worse for yourself!

Matthias: Making it worse? How can it be worse? Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!

Jewish Official: I'm warning you! If you say "Jehovah" one more time (gets hit with rock) RIGHT! Who did that? Come on, who did it?

Stoners: She did! She did! (suddenly speaking as men) He! He did! He!

Jewish Official: Was it you?

Stoner: Yes.

Jewish Official: Right...

Stoner: Well you did say "Jehovah. "

[Crowd throws rocks at the stoner]

Jewish Official: STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! STOP IT! All right, no one is to stone _anyone_ until I blow this whistle. Even... and I want to make this absolutely clear... even if they do say, "Jehovah. "

[Crowd stones the Jewish Official to death]

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2011-11-08)

2011-11-08T06:16:00.001-06:00

Sir Humphrey: "So we trust you to make sure that your Minister does nothing incisive or divisive over the next few weeks."

Sir Arnold: "Avoids anything controversial."

Sir Humphrey: "Expresses no firm opinion about anything at all. Now, is that quite clear?"

Bernard Woolley: "Yes, well, I think that is probably what he was planning to do anyway."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2011-11-07)

2011-11-07T06:16:00.001-06:00

Inigo Montoya: Hello there. Slow going?

Man in Black: Look, I don't mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.

Inigo Montoya: [apologetic] Sorry.

Man in Black: Thank you.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2011-11-06)

2011-11-06T06:16:00.001-06:00

Where's your Christmas spirit? An eye for an eye.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-11-05)

2011-11-05T06:16:00.001-05:00

Niles: Her lips said no, but her eyes said read my lips.

Source: Frasier